My 16th birthday was this week. You guys want to know what I did on my birthday? I cut school. I cut school, took the train into Brooklyn and I took photos.
Why?
Why did I do this? Because I'm in that teenage stage where I hate school. I know everyone hates school. Everyone has responsibilities. I'm a teenager, I should be growing up, but I don't want to. What's the point of going to school if I'm not motivated? I'm going to school because I have to. I spend every class criticizing my teachers, methodically taking notes, not learning anything. Why? Because I don't want to. Between friendships falling apart and family issues and low grades, my year has been shit. I did it because I wanted to find inspiration again.
When I posted my photos onto Facebook, I had some people telling me that I was an inspiration. I had inspired them. Every birthday they were going to do something epic, to live life to the fullest. That made me happy.
I was an inspiration. I never thought I would be an inspiration. The people around me are my inspiration, but I never thought I could be someone else's inspiration. I was just being a stupid teenager. Running away from responsibilities to do a hobby. I had traded a day of "education" for a day of adventure. I had fun. That's all there really was to it. But then I realized, maybe something so easy for me was hard for others. Maybe they thought you had to be bold or daring to do something like that. But all you really need is one moment of impulse and then, don't wait for it to go away. Ride it.
Of course, impulsiveness is only good in moderation. I urge everyone to practice self control. You might not like it, but it will help you in your academic and professional life.
One thing that I've learned as I've grown up is that everything changes. I've changed. I've recently updated my blogger account and deleted everything on my embarrassing middle school profile. I've liked to think that I've matured. I'm happy with myself. I'm very happy. Happier than I've been in a long time.
Spring Romance
Spring Romance By Karen Tarlton
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Update: Sophomore Year
I think I'm going to start blogging more often as it's a good way to vent out my feelings in a healthy way. I've learned a lot of things Sophomore year.
1. Friendships don't last forever
2015 has been the year of broken friendships for me. Plenty of my friends have split up and I have had my own share. Quite a few bonds have been broken.
2. It doesn't take a lot to break inertia
Sometimes all there needs to be is a trigger of some sort and people are going at each others throats. It's the pent up frustration that they feel and all it takes is one moment of anger that can cause an explosion.
3. I'm glad I go to a school with over 3,000 students
No one has any idea what goes on in a lot of people's lives. People have reputations, people can be popular, but a lot of personal issues that people have don't spread very far. Of course there are a few exceptions, but in a school where I can barely name half of the 750 students in my grade, it doesn't really matter what anyone else is doing outside my niche.
4. Drama brings out the worst in people
5. Drama also brings out the best in people
6. Drama helps you find your true friends
All three of these are valid lessons in my eyes. I never wanted to talk about my problems with people because I know that people are just inherently flaky and biased. I found out this year that a lot of people have a good moral compass and will tell you their true opinions.
I felt quite bad last night as I was ranting to a close friend about all my feelings. I spent a good amount of time just venting out my feelings. I then learned about some more important things that happened inside my school that I won't disclose for privacy reasons. I immediately felt horrible because it involved a person who hundreds of students looked up to. I thought it was ironic because I was debating about whether to unleash my anger or not. There was external peace, but I was not at peace within myself. After ranting, I felt more at peace and then this huge thing with the school and the teacher who got arrested happened and it just reminded me about how chaotic the world is. Which brings me to the 7th thing I learned.
7. Internal peace is just as important as external peace.
I realized that when I have lost internal peace, it affects the way I act around others. I become moody and unresponsive. In turn people treat me differently. Don't be peaceful to please others. Your feelings are important too.
1. Friendships don't last forever
2015 has been the year of broken friendships for me. Plenty of my friends have split up and I have had my own share. Quite a few bonds have been broken.
2. It doesn't take a lot to break inertia
Sometimes all there needs to be is a trigger of some sort and people are going at each others throats. It's the pent up frustration that they feel and all it takes is one moment of anger that can cause an explosion.
3. I'm glad I go to a school with over 3,000 students
No one has any idea what goes on in a lot of people's lives. People have reputations, people can be popular, but a lot of personal issues that people have don't spread very far. Of course there are a few exceptions, but in a school where I can barely name half of the 750 students in my grade, it doesn't really matter what anyone else is doing outside my niche.
4. Drama brings out the worst in people
5. Drama also brings out the best in people
6. Drama helps you find your true friends
All three of these are valid lessons in my eyes. I never wanted to talk about my problems with people because I know that people are just inherently flaky and biased. I found out this year that a lot of people have a good moral compass and will tell you their true opinions.
I felt quite bad last night as I was ranting to a close friend about all my feelings. I spent a good amount of time just venting out my feelings. I then learned about some more important things that happened inside my school that I won't disclose for privacy reasons. I immediately felt horrible because it involved a person who hundreds of students looked up to. I thought it was ironic because I was debating about whether to unleash my anger or not. There was external peace, but I was not at peace within myself. After ranting, I felt more at peace and then this huge thing with the school and the teacher who got arrested happened and it just reminded me about how chaotic the world is. Which brings me to the 7th thing I learned.
7. Internal peace is just as important as external peace.
I realized that when I have lost internal peace, it affects the way I act around others. I become moody and unresponsive. In turn people treat me differently. Don't be peaceful to please others. Your feelings are important too.
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